I mentioned in my last post that I was obsessed with "Nesting". I have been obsessed with it, my house is sparkly, not a dust mote can be found, the floors are spotless, magazines, books, Cd's and DVDs are in order. And yet, there is something amiss. Several months ago I ended a relationship, started looking to purchase a home and move. I found an older "fixer" with hidden potential, just the right size (until I saw the boxes I'd packed), purchased it and moved. Which in and of its self was a project, two blue crown conures and a mini schnauzer have almost as much "stuff", and personal needs as I do. I spent the last sunny warm days of September painting the outside of the house, cleaning up the shrubs and looking at the possibilities for gardening and landscaping next spring and summer. Then I moved inside and did the most important room for me, my office/studio. The rest of the house was unpacked and I began "living" in my new house.
This afternoon, after I'd spent the morning on work from the office, I was basking in the stillness, content with all that I had accomplished. I got up and wandered from room to room, poking my head into cupboards and closets, looking for something. Home. I was looking for home. Not the house or person I left, but my home. It dawned on me that this is the first time in a long time that I am able to create a home entirely of my own. I was widowed 20 years ago, and I raised our daughter on my own. The banter of children and friends filled the hours, days and our home. It was not always the neatest, sparkly-est place but it was always "warm". A nest.
My obsession with nesting lately I've discovered for me, is not about how orderly my house is but about the quality and graciousness of "home". This brought up for me what is "Nesting", and what constitutes "Home". I spent several hours delving into the internet trying to define nesting and the psychology of nesting. No I'm NOT pregnant, which is about all one can find on the internet regarding the nesting instinct. There are also several articles regarding "empty nesting", not exactly on track either. That is a sort of " been there done that", my daughter was away at college for several years, graduated and is now happily married to a wonderful man. She is an intelligent, fulfilled individual that I'm quite proud of. My life is full with friends, when I make the time (they all understand my crunch at the new year), so it is not the need to interact and socialize. It is the need to "Nest" or create a home.
I'm amazed at all the possibilities that lay ahead of me in creating my new home, my nest. But I'm also intrigued with this instinct to nest. Have any of you had this feeling of needing to nest? What makes you feel like you're at home? What is the difference between a house and a home for you?
This afternoon, after I'd spent the morning on work from the office, I was basking in the stillness, content with all that I had accomplished. I got up and wandered from room to room, poking my head into cupboards and closets, looking for something. Home. I was looking for home. Not the house or person I left, but my home. It dawned on me that this is the first time in a long time that I am able to create a home entirely of my own. I was widowed 20 years ago, and I raised our daughter on my own. The banter of children and friends filled the hours, days and our home. It was not always the neatest, sparkly-est place but it was always "warm". A nest.
My obsession with nesting lately I've discovered for me, is not about how orderly my house is but about the quality and graciousness of "home". This brought up for me what is "Nesting", and what constitutes "Home". I spent several hours delving into the internet trying to define nesting and the psychology of nesting. No I'm NOT pregnant, which is about all one can find on the internet regarding the nesting instinct. There are also several articles regarding "empty nesting", not exactly on track either. That is a sort of " been there done that", my daughter was away at college for several years, graduated and is now happily married to a wonderful man. She is an intelligent, fulfilled individual that I'm quite proud of. My life is full with friends, when I make the time (they all understand my crunch at the new year), so it is not the need to interact and socialize. It is the need to "Nest" or create a home.
I'm amazed at all the possibilities that lay ahead of me in creating my new home, my nest. But I'm also intrigued with this instinct to nest. Have any of you had this feeling of needing to nest? What makes you feel like you're at home? What is the difference between a house and a home for you?
